Weddings.
The perfect occasion to make a fool of yourself and see how hot your sister-in-law’s friends really are.
Today, Cleo Lingo is answering a question as old as time itself: how different ARE Egyptian weddings?
Do they all take place at the pyramids?
Do the bride and groom ride around on camels while guests fan them with those big leaves?
Is “Walk Like an Egyptian” by the Bangels on a constant loop in the background, and the only dance move that you are allowed to do?
We know you have questions. Cleo Lingo has answers.
The fact is, what happens at an Egyptian wedding is going to be different every time. The kind of music, the food you eat, how many people there are, where it takes place…..just like everything, it depends.
To have a decent, well-rounded opinion of what Egyptian weddings really “are,” you’d have to gather a couple different perspectives.
Luckily for you, that’s exactly what we did!
Below you’ll find the experience of three different foreigners, at three very different weddings. Mileage varies, of course, so take these experiences with a grain of salt. In any case, after you’re done reading, maybe you’ll finally have an answer to that question.
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Lower Class: The Painful Statue Wedding
“It looked like the party was fun for everyone but the bride and groom. They just watched painfully from the front of the room. Almost like statues.”
This is what a close friend from America says about a wedding he went to his first month in Cairo. He and his sister were among the only foreigners at a 100+ person wedding, and watched from the sidelines at a dance floor almost constantly filled. The evening’s refreshments included some soft drinks and classic Egyptian desserts.
By all appearances, this was a low budget affair designed for the enjoyment of the guests. The statues danced a few times…..but in the words of my friend, the bride and groom mostly “watched from afar.”
Middle Class: The Party Like You Mean It Wedding
“Let’s take some motha fuckin shots. For Bishoy, man. For Bishoy.”
Yours truly got to take part in this one. For nine months I lived in downtown Cairo with an Egyptian guy and American girl.
Good old Bishoy and Amy. They were great roommates, and the nine months I lived with them were some of the best times I had in Egypt.
They were also dating, and a few months after I moved in, engaged.
On the day of the wedding, and before he left for the church (he’s Christian), my roommate Bishoy took shots of tequila with me and some friends. After he left, we continued drinking. It was “for Bishoy”, after all.
I sat (slightly buzzed) through a ceremony in English. They both looked awesome, and to family and friends seated throughout the church, the reverend put on quite the show. I never knew wedding ceremonies could be so entertaining.
The wedding party itself took place at an outdoor “club” (Egyptian clubs are basically big sports complexes) nearby. Each table got its own handle of booze to split, and the drinking continued right up until dinner. Afterwards, the DJ set up shop and the debauchery began. Everybody danced that night to a mix of Western music and “Egyptian hits,” helped, of course, by the free flow of alcohol.
Keep in mind that this was all influenced by the fact that Bishoy and his family are Christians. Doubtless, the amount of drunken dancing would have been kept to a minimum at (most) Muslim weddings.
Following an after party of sorts at a friend’s house, I finally made it home around 6 AM and woke up the next afternoon with a killer hangover.
A success, by all accounts.
Upper Class: The Super Sweet Musree Bonanza Wedding
“One of the most ridiculous weddings I have ever been to. I had a good time, definitely. But SO. FREAKING. EXPENSIVE.”
And then, of course, you have the “Super Sweet Bonanza” weddings. These are the weddings where it seems like the couple has sold away the rights to their firstborn just to pay for the lights.
A German friend attended this last year, and was given an insight into the upper echelon of Egyptian society.
Giant cakes. A world-class sound system. Massive tables filled with desserts. Silverware that would set you a back a month’s worth of rent…..this was less a wedding, and more an event. Hosted in a giant yard in the outskirts of Cairo, the music could be as loud as the people wanted, and they certainly took advantage of it.
Until the early hours of the morning, people dressed for the occasion danced their hearts out….then drove away in their limos.
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Five Things That Are Unique at Egyptian Weddings
- Size. Where you might have your “+1” at a wedding back home, Egyptians take this to mean “+every single friend they have, plus Mohamed who is studying abroad in New Zealand.” This is how you end up at a wedding with 300 Egyptians all singing along to Amr Diab. Egyptian weddings can get huge.
- Bridesmaids and best men. They exist in your country, sure. Just not like this. Perfect example of how some things in Egyptian culture can be “over the top.” Those 20 dudes all dressed the same belong to the groom. Don’t ask questions. The mob of women surrounding the bride? Yeah, don’t get in their way.
- Music mix. There’s almost guaranteed to be a weird mixture of “shaabi” (local) and Western music playing. Just when you think you as a foreigner have it down and are comfortable singing along to Taylor Swift, in comes a song that you’d hear in a micro bus. It’s trippy, but it will keep you on your toes.
- Egyptian DJ’s. They’re just….the worst. They will almost inevitably play the best songs while you are sitting down, waiting for the cake to be cut. As soon as you stand up, though, it’s onto the weird shit that nobody in their right mind actually likes. Can anybody say “Mr. Beat Killer?”
- Wedding jewelry. Don’t be surprised when the ring and necklace and bracelet start getting passed around. This is extremely Egyptian, and is known as the “shabka.” It’s essentially a requirement on the part of the groom before marriage, and it’s common for the guests to “inspect” how generous he has been. Um…..yeah, cool ring, Ahmed!
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So there you have it.
At an Egyptian wedding, there’s a lot of laughing, the music is decent, and people love to dance.
Sound familiar?
When you wonder “What an Egyptian wedding is like,” it’s easy to imagine something completely different than the culture you know.
In a way, Cleo Lingo wishes you were correct. Pyramids and camels would make for one hell of a story.
But our answer to the question at the beginning is quite boring: an Egyptian wedding is actually quite similar to the one you are used.
Sure, there’s certainly a unique Egyptian “flavor” to it. The food might be slightly different, the music may be in a different language, and as you saw above, there are certainly a few things that you probably wouldn’t see back home.
Still, it seems to Cleo Lingo like the similarities are much more abundant than the differences.
Maybe this isn’t so much an “Egyptian” or “American” or “Chinese” thing, so much as a human thing. People like to party, to celebrate their family and friends in any way they can, and to dance like fools when they can get away with it.
And maybe, just maybe, chat up their sister-in-law’s friends.
So go to one, if you have the chance.
We promise you won’t regret it. 🙂
